I had an illness (or that is what it seems to me now) when I look back on how much I cared what people think about me. I was almost paranoid. See I never had alot of friends growing up. I wish I did. I was always trying to fit in but never did! In primary school, High school, College, work…i just never fit in with the “in” crowd. It is so crazy! I have found out that it is amazing how many persons in this world are actually so concerned with what others think about them, that it produces some kind of sickness if you ask me (I know cause I was one of them). I really wanted people to like me, wanted to be in the popularity’s top ten (ten, ten, ten – echo). No matter what I did, it never worked. Well you know, thats not exactly true. It worked but not for the reason I wanted. Oh yeah, I was known alright but mostly in the wrong way. I was known for “the one who has an attitude, the one who talks alot, the one who is much too bold for her age, the one whose tone of voice constantly gets her in trouble etc”. I did not want to be known in this way but time and time again – I would be.
Growing up, I brain washed myself into thinking that due to the fact that I am sociable, a fast learner, and I do well academically, that would cover up for all my other “sins” and land me in the “hip crowd”, but nope, it never happened. This caused me at times to try not to be myself because I wanted to be liked. (Pretending…doesn’t that lead to hypocrisy or is it?) Then I would end up hurting myself when all my efforts (that no one asked for) was ignored. After attempting to change myself on numerous occasions without success, I finally got worn out, frustrated and threw in the towel. That was it! I was done trying to make everyone like me. So on this self-pity parade I went to a service one day and heard one of my favourite preachers made a comment that has helped to change my life since then. He said: “If you want the spotlight to be on you in this world, then you better put your spotlight on Jesus. When you concentrate on pleasing the Lord then, He will eventually boomerang all that attention on you and before you know it, everyone’s eyes will be on you because nobody’s spolight shines as brightly as God’s”.
That word was mine and I held on to it for dear life. I decided in my heart from that day, I will stop trying to let everybody like me and concentrate on letting Jesus be pleased with me and I am not sorry for that preacher’s word were as true as Jesus himself. Today, I don’t have that problem to the degree it was in the past. God’s spotlight shines on me so brightly that I am noticed even without trying. Oh people still don’t like me – matter of fact some just take one look at me and despise me (that still cracks me up). In sumation, I have found that spending so much time in the presence of Jesus you receive his anointing and it carries favour. This favour causes people to both love you and hate you. (Its true) The most amazing thing is that no matter how many people the enemy uses to bring hatred, malice, strife and malicious acts against you, God will grant you favour with the right “in” crowd and that is all you need.
When the Bible says “If God is for us, who can be against us?” – Romans 8:31 – GWB, it is true to the last syllable. Situations will come that will shake us but whoever tries to come against anyone who is inlove with Jesus will be coming against Jesus himself. Whoever tries to frustrate a child of God and causes him to lose faith will find that he/she is going up against God. (…and that’s baad). “Jesus told his disciples, “Situations that cause people to lose their faith are certain to arise. But how horrible it will be for the person who causes someone to lose his faith! It would be best for that person to be thrown into the sea with a large stone hung around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to lose his faith. Luke 17:1-2 – GWB.
You do not need to try to fit into any group that feels you do not belong. If you learn to turn your attention to pleasing the King, you will get his favour and nothing is better than to be in the King’s favour. It was the king’s favour that caused Esther to become queen above all the other ladies in that Beauty Pageant so many years ago. Remember one day of favour can literally reverse a lifetime of labour. My friend let me give you some “deep” advice: stop caring soo much about what everyone thinks about you: what you wear, where you sit in church, how you look, how you worship, who you chill with, how you speak and any other trivial thing that you are stressing over that Jesus himself is overlooking. The most important thing is what He thinks about you. Let me conclude it for you: Jesus loves and cares for you just the way you are and if you really love and obey him then He will turn the true spotlight on you – So Shine On!
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