Whew! So Glad I Did

One of my favorite night-time series is “Burn Notice” which comes on USA network.  I love it.  It is about a spy – Micheal Westen who was burnt (someone discovered him as a spy) and so he became blacklisted.  Now he has no identity, therefore no regular job opportunity, cannot leave the state of Florida where he was shipped after blacklisting, no money – nothing except the clothes on his back.  Nevertheless, he reconnected with his ex-girlfriend, and an ex-military informant and together the three of them work to help people who are in trouble and need assistance.  They make quite a team; always there to back each other in every situation through many close calls.  They skillfully and many times through luck help battered victims become victors.  They do not always use the most appropriate and even legal means (since Micheal has to always avoid a run-in with the police) but they always get the job done and ironically prevent the bad guys from carrying out illegal activities.

In one of the episodes my husband happened to be watching with me and Micheal had a meeting with a bad guy and totally bluffed a situation. With his back turned to them as he walked away, and his face to us, he was so worried but hoped the guy bought his argument.  He did!  The bad guy was so terrified after that, he caved and Micheal had his way.  With a look of relief when the guy said “alright you win”,  he turned around looking all tough again.   My husband said to me: “That is what you lack you know baby?”  I said “what?”  He said “confidence under pressure”

I began to examine myself and found it to be true.  Many times before I minister God constantly has to be saying to me: “Do not be afraid, just obey me and speak as I tell you or show you because I am with you”.  Please understand, I am not fearful of ministering the word.  Fear creeps in when I have to give a prophesy that seems wierd, or make a declaration concerning something that looks quite impossible or the most frequent is having to prophesy to someone who is staring me in the face with a look of:  “nooo, what you are saying is incorrect. You are not seeing correctly”.  Like just this Sunday, I went to minister at a church and all of the above happened to me.   The Lord told me to teach on “The Fire of God” because He was bringing a cleansing to the church and community.  He told me that as a physical and geographical sign that He was cleansing the church and the area, there would be torrential rains with lightnings and thunderings.  He told me to prophesy this before I preach.  I was so fearful.  I am thinking: “oh boy, the people are gonna say listen, it was gonna rain (even though before I started there wasn’t a dark cloud in the sky) and what you are saying has nothing to do with that” or something like that, you know  [sigh]  Within a few minutes after I started I heard a bolt of lightning sweep across the sky and God reminded me that I need to do as He instructed, then I told them what He had said to me. [oh brother]

This should not be!  I know the problem, it’s a fear of man.  It’s called a: man-fearing spirit.  I know God has not given me a spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7) but somehow in the midst of the pressure I tend to forget. You see  sometimes depend on the level of anointing, God will allow me to hear the thoughts of people’s hearts in the realm of the spirit like what happened to Jesus in Luke 9:47 – “And Jesus, perceiving the thought of their heart…” KJV.  I sometimes find myself caring a little too much about what people will think over what God has said or told me to do.  I keep forgetting that I represent a world that is unseen (Kingdom of Heaven) before this seen world.  Therefore, the things I do and say should first of all represent that world and many times it will result in people misunderstanding me like they did Jesus.  He told them, “I can guarantee this truth: If you don’t eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you don’t have the source of life in you”. John 6:53 – GWB.  Many of his followers said it was a hard saying and began to leave him because they did not understand what He meant.  Yet later on, the Lord’s Supper was instituted and his disciples did, in essence, drink his blood and eat his flesh.  

When you walk in relationship with God, He will always ask you to do things that are uncomfortable, silly, hurting and crazy to your rationale but we must remember like Peter to say: “We must obey God rather than people”. Acts 5:2 GWB.  So kick fears aside. Get your confidence up, God never lies.  If God told you do or say something – Just Do It!  To His glory and your honour, He will vindicate you in the eyes of  the unbelievers, then you will be able to say “Whew! So glad I did”.
 copyright © 2010

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