*It’s Ok*

Ring, ring,   “Hello”   

“Hello baby” 

“Hey, I am just checking on you and the baby.  How are you both?” My husband asked.

“We are good”.

“Okay…remember I have that meeting tonight.  We are actually setting up now so I will be home a little late ok”.

“Yeah…aum… baby…I have something to tell you that might make you a little mad”.  {Me speaking like a little child in trouble}

 “Yeeesss, what is it?”

Promise me you wont be upset?” {keeping my fingers crossed}

“I promise. What is it?”

“I just went to look in the diaper bags and realize the diapers we have left are all size four, which means they are too big.  They can’t fit NJ and he only has three of the regular ones left.  I am so sorry I just found out.  I know you already went shopping and now you gonna have to get more stuff. I had checked a few times and saw them but didn’t realize that size four would not be able to fit him now. I am so sorry”. {nervously and embarrassingly talking}

“What?  Ree-aa-lly…”  He responded through a chuckle.

“yeah…am soo sorry.  I know you asked me so many times if we had enough and I keep telling you ‘yea’ and now I find out that the baby literally has ony three diapers left because I tried the size four and it can’t fit”.

“So if he has only three, when were you planning to tell me?  Why did you not tell me earlier?”

“I am sorry. Aum…I just figure you had enough to deal with at work and didn’t want to burden you any further with…”

“It’s ok. {he cut me short}  Stop apologizing so much.  It’s ok. Stuff happens.  You are doing a very good job with the baby.  Its ok.  Just call me about 8:30pm and remind me to buy them…it’s ok”.  He lovingly said to me and then hung up the phone.  I was so relieved. I felt so much love permeating through his voice and right then and there I was glad God gave me such a wonder of a man for my husband.

That’s a phone conversation I had recently with my husband.  It might sound a little wierd that I was so freaked about diapers but you would need to understand the prior conversations I had with him concerning supplies for the baby.  See God has so blessed us that we basically did not need to buy anything really when he was born.  Most of his hardware (stroller, playpen etc.) was imported along with software (diapers, wipes, clothes) and so on.  Since the baby has outgrown a lot of his clothes and has depleted a lot of his other stuff, I constantly keep a check on the supplies to ensure we are always in stock.   So he had been asking me frequently if we are low on diapers and I keep telling him no. The last time he said: “I don’t want to hear in the middle of the night, unexpectedly, that the baby is in need of diapers and you only have two left”.  I actually got annoyed when he said so [because in my head I am thinking that would never happen] therefore he just stopped investigating.  So finding out this right after he had gone and purchased supplies the day before, I felt so bad about how I had behaved and thought he would be upset with me [because I would be with him].  He was not – because he was not like me at all!

This made me think.  This is exactly what happens when we sin against Jesus and we feel badly about it.  We become fearful, nervous, guilty and instead of running to him, we stay way or hide like Adam in the garden {that’s where it started by the way}.  When we feel like we have disappointed God, the first thing we should do is run to him, not away from him. The truth is many times the way we think God will treat us because we have messed up, is totally the antithesis of how he does.   His love constrains him so much that all he can do is forgive us and love on us some more.  Many times when we go to him shame-faced, he simply smiles and say “it’s ok”

All he really wants us to do is come to him. So don’t Stay away.  Remember, His love is unconditional. He is not like us.  “God is not like people. He tells no lies. He is not like humans. He doesn’t change his mind. When he says something, he does it. When he makes a promise, he keeps it”. Numbers 23:19 – GWB.  It’s true. He says he loves us and he will not change his mind about it no matter what we do.  He thinks differently; not like us. “My thoughts are not your thoughts, and my ways are not your ways,” declares the LORD. “Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways, and my thoughts are higher than your thoughts.”Isaiah 55:8-9 – GWB. [cool]   So, don’t sweat it, if you are truly penitent, broken and contrite you will recognize that he is quicker and more willing to forgive you than you know.  You may have done wrong, you may have messed up, you may have seriously sinned against God, but once you repent and turn away he will forgive you and just pour His love on you. You might even hear him say “It’s ok…I love you anyway”.
copyright © 2010 

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2 thoughts on “*It’s Ok*

  1. yeah girl it truly happens…I used to be so afraid of going to God and telling him I am sorry that I messed up but I used to think He has forgiven me so many times this really has to be the last time that He would…but I’m just glad that He is not like that…and that I can go to Him a million and one times and He would forgive me…thanks for sharing Amo.!

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