I am in mourning. My heart is saddened due a loss that I have experienced a few days ago. ahh it hurts… If only I had listened to the voice of reasoning inside me. Some call this voice their mind, others, their spirit, others the Holy Spirit, others their sixth sense, others a feeling – Whatever you call it is up to you. For me its the Holy Spirit. Nonetheless, if only I had listened, I would not be in the position I am in at the moment.
My loss is…is…hmmm. It leaves me speechless, aching and sore in my heart. You may be wondering who I have lost. Ahh, its so hard to speak of it but if you must know, I lost a beautiful pair of bed slippers that I got as a gift from my son’s godmother in April. [A total drama queen right 🙂 I am quite an actress to tell you the truth] Anyway, I hold these bed slippers dear to my heart because I especially asked for a particular type that she had to walk out a couple of malls in the US before she found the exact ones that I wanted. I hold that as important because time and energy was placed into getting it just for me and that is truly meaningful and special.
Its my fault that they are gone and if only I obeyed God I would have still had them. I took them outside to wash because they were a little dirty and then suddenly had to run into town to get some business done. When I was about to leave the Lord said to me “why don’t you take them up? “ I thought about it and said: “well, whats the use? Thats not necessary, a mean they are already outside and I am gonna wash them as soon as I get back so I think its better to just leave them there so as I return I will remember to get to doing them”. He said nothing and I said nothing further.
Anyway, the business that should have been no more than two or three hours took all evening and I did not return until night. When I finally remembered they were outside and went to pick them up all I saw was the empty spot. It was like a knife sticking through my heart. I searched all over the back and front yard for them and peeped over all my neighbour’s also – nothing. [oh crap] I looked everywhere. See I had totally forgotten that the neighbourhood dogs love to “play” with anything that is left outside people’s homes. We don’t have dog catchers and stuff like that around here so everybody’s dogs who are not properly locked up just wander and mess with [and in] your yard, your garbage, your welcome mat, your plants at times – uhh, anything that they find appealing. [Oh man]. I felt horrible. The sorrow was immense. I went into instant mourning. My darling of a husband felt so sorry for my “loss” [he’s such a darling] he indulged my whining, attentively listened to my regrets and was there for me in my agony.
Shortly after asking my neighbours if they had seen my slippers [this was like almost 11pm, whether it was wrangled or eaten up or shredded to pieces, I wanted it back] I happened to be flipping through stations and saw “Project Runway” on Lifetime. It was the episode where they were decidng who would go to the Mercedes Benz Runway Show and I saw one of the designers I wanted to go through left on the runway with another guy. As I had my fingers [and toes] crossed, with heart throbbing in anticipation, hoping he would take the final spot and they announced it – he did, I was sooo happy. Then the other guy began to cry, no…bawl. I suddenly forgot about my slippers. I began to get teary eyed, no I began to cry as I saw the guy bawling that he has disappointed his family because he got so close and yet he did not make it. His tears were not fake at all [or at least did not seem like it…he almost finished the box of Kleenex]. I felt so awful that I was hurting over my nice warm, stuffed, perfectly coloured bed slippers when this guy worked so hard for so many weeks for at least a chance to have his collection shown on the Runway at the Mercedes Benz Fashion Show and he wont see it happen. [so sad]
I went to my husband who was overhearing me yapping about wanting my favourite to go through and said “hmm, I guess there are worst losses than a pair of bed slippers huh?” He smiled and remained silent. [wise man] Then it hit me: “There are worst things than losing a pair of bed slippers. I have other slippers that I can wear. None like the one I lost but I do have others… lots as a matter of fact”. The moment I said that, I tell you no lie, it felt like someone slowly began to pull a knife from my heart. It was amazing, so surreal, quite fascinating actually. I smiled to myself and went back to watching the television.
Moral of my story? No matter how bad you think your situation is, someone is going through worst than you. So just be grateful for yours, deal with it and move on.
My friend, if its any consolation remember that God loves you too much to give you more than you can bear. “No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it”. (1 Cor. 10:13 Msg) So just remain thankful for your trials or loss, eventually you will heal from your pain and with your victory you will be able to help heal the aching, hurting, wounding heart of others. Bless you.