Today I am in mourning because I have suffered a loss….not joking this time around. I am feeling a little low in spirit because of the news I received earlier today. One of my hairdressers died last night, right outside of her beauty parlour. Apparently, some gunmen came to rob her and upon her informing them that she did not have any money they shot her right in the chest, right there, just like that, a mean JUST LIKE THAT… [sniffles] It really has sent shock waves through me and has truly disturbed my day.
She’s been through so much including two miscarriages and she was young too. She was twenty nine years old, sweet and hard working. He was god-fearing but not godly – my dilemma broadens. It really saddens my heart because I liked her and she was a good person. Well, thats the problem – the greatest problem. The dilemma I have is that she was a good person but not a Christian – not a kingdom citizen… to my knowledge. All I can think of is the fact that my friend may not see the face of my Jesus and live in Paradise where there is joy, peace, and love forever instead she may go to hell and live forever in torment – Ohhh Lord. I do not know if before she died so swiftly, she had a chance to repent. I had not seen her for months due to the fact that I no longer work where I used to and her hairdressing parlor was just upstairs my office. Since I became a full time minister, full time wife and full time mother, I had to change hairdresser because I left my job. Nonetheless, we still speak whenever i pop by my old work place to say hi to my former co-workers. I had not gone for months however so….
Truth is, I do not know if she had repented in all the time I had not seen her 😦 You know, I am very choosy about who I allow access to my personal space. She was unsaved when I first met her but found out she was so nice that I decided to stay with her. I would talk with her about my Jesus and from time to time she would ask me questions about the Bible or church but back then, that was it. Oh how I wonder if I had done enough to represent my Jesus so she could accept him as Lord and Saviour. I don’t know! I just don’t know. I truly hope my life was a good enough Bible and that all the other people she knew who were Kingdom citizen would have been influential enough, that if she still did not choose my Jesus, it was her personal conscious choice to not follow and serve him and not that she did not have a role model to follow who showed her Jesus’ love.
It all makes me think however, that I do need to do all I can to model my Jesus in every way that in the end, if anyone else should leave this world suddenly, I can say, “I have done all that I can and so I know my best is good enough”. [sigh]