Poison for Breakfast – part 1

I watched an incident some time ago that fascinated me about the wills of humans.  I was ministering in a service and the Lord began to move in the hearts of the people there.  It was really warming to my very bones to know that the love of Jesus can truly transform the hearts and minds of even the vilest of persons.  It’s powerful.  Real powerful!

Just before the service ended, a lady walked up to me filled with tears and they were streaming down her face. She said “Pastor, you know a lady in here and I are not talking.  We are in malice but I really want to put it right with her today.  I do not want us to leave this service still in malice.  Can I call her over here and you pray with us and help us to set everything straight? I smiled and said “sure”.  Both persons were already at the altar since they had responded to the invitation for prayer that I had given.

She walked over to the other lady, touched her and whispered something in her ear.  The lady shrugged her hands off her shoulder and reluctantly walked over with her towards me.  I didn’t inquire what the issue was that had caused them to be in the malice in the first place but I asked them both if they feel they were able to put behind them whatever it was and move on from there.  The first lady crying so much that she could hardly stand, responded “yes pastor”.  The other lady did not respond.  So I asked her personally, she muttered under her breath but I did not hear her reply.  I asked again. This time she gave a distressed, apathetic, indifferent “uh hmmm”.  I realized that she was lying but I had other people to minister to so I didn’t spend much time on her.  I began to pray.  I held both their hands and prayed that God’s love would bind them together, enact total forgiveness and so on.

She looked so uncomfortable. It was amazing to see such display right before my eyes. I should interject to say they were both Christians. [smile – SMH]  Anyway, the Lord opened up her heart to me and I began to discern her thoughts.  She was insistent that she would not forgive this lady no matter what she or I did or said.  I felt so sad for her.  She had allowed the root of bitterness to take a whole of her and it gripped her so tight that the pain of the incident totally took precedence over her need to forgive and be free.  She thought to herself that the lady did not deserve her forgiveness after all that she did to her.  I looked at her and said “You really need to forgive her for the wrongs she did to you.  It’s not worth it to keep killing yourself with hatred and unforgiveness”.  She half-heartedly looked at me as if to say “You can talk all you want.  You know nothing.  I am the one who is hurting”.  She held down her head then walked off.  She went back to the place she was standing at the altar while I ministered to the other persons.

When I was finished, I walked through the back rostrum entrance to go to the pastor’s office.  It so happened as I was crossing the passage I saw her talking to someone. Her remarks were: “She can go on with her long eye water and tears.  If the pastor did really know what she did to me, she would’ve NEVER asked me to forgive her.  She can fool the pastor with her “everlasting cow-bawling” [Jamaican patios for many tears].  She cannot fool me and me NOT forgiving her!”  She hissed her teeth and walked off.  She didn’t see me but I saw and heard her.

I smiled and thought what a hard hearted woman who is supposed to be a child of God.  Imagine if Jesus was to say that about us.  Look at how many times even in one day that we hurt and cause him much pain.  Our language, actions, thoughts, behavior, attitude…. A mean the list is endless.  He loves us so much that He forgives us immediately, as soon as we ask.  Why wouldn’t we even try to do the same?  I know some hurts are painful; a mean just awful.  It may even take a while but I know if forgiving is truly what you want to do then Jesus will give you the enabling power to do so. HE TRULY WILL.

I speak from personal experience that after you forgive someone, you’ll find out that he person who needed freedom wasn’t them at all but you. Oh boy, do I know that well.  Have you ever noticed that when you “don’t like a person” you never stop seeing them? Seriously, everywhere you go they are there.  Geez!  So all it does is get your blood boiling and the painful memories keep reliving like a wretched horror movie on auto play. Good Lord!  I once heard Joyce Meyer say “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping that the other person dies”.  I have realized that statement is as true as truth gets.  Just forgive.  Its hard but rewarding if you want peace of mind, stability and a stress free life. So tell me, when was the last time you had poison for breakfast, lunch or dinner?

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10 thoughts on “Poison for Breakfast – part 1

  1. As I read this I began to ask myself who is it that I haven’t forgiven, about two people came to my mind, but I said it’s not that I haven’t forgiven them, I just won’t let them get close to me again. Then again maybe what the Lord is saying, you haven’t forgiven them totally.

    1. hmmm. Indeed. I used to tell myself that too until the Lord told me that for real I have not forgotten them for real. I worked on it a little harder. I know you will too

  2. Who haven’t i 4gvn?……….. here thinkn……. sum1 cums 2 mind, here thinkn also dt it is jus dt i won’t let myself gt close……. bt nw i realise i jus really av nt 4gvn…… Sigh.

  3. Wounded Heart

    A vision that the Lord gave me for myself a while ago dealing with hurts and wounding of my heart was very cool . In this vision I saw a human heart, mine, being held in a pair of hands, The heart was wrapped in gauze and I could see that it had dried blood on it meaning that it had been there for a while. Then I saw another pair of hands begin to slowly unwrap the gauze and as the wrapping came off, I saw a heart that was very bruised, had multiple stab wounds, many scabs, and looked almost lifeless. Then I saw the hands that had been holding the heart cup the heart, one hand over the other, so that i could not see it. What I did see was a brilliant white light coming from between the fingers of the hands holding it. When the hands were again open, I saw a new healthy heart.

    For me to say that I am totally healed and do not need to walk through forgiveness on a daily basis would be lying. But I know that we are commanded to forgive whether or not the other person says he/she is sorry. It only takes one to forgive but it takes two to restore a relationship.

      1. One thing that came to me the more about the lady who approached you that was crying is to be wary of the spirit of Jezebel. Jezebel is a manipulative spirit that can use tears to do so. I am by no means saying that the woman who approached you was manipulative or a Jezebel for that matter. It bothered me, however, that she came to you with something that should have been between her and the woman she wronged. Both women are in the wrong . The other one needs to forgive whether or not the firat woman was sorry or not. It takes one to forgive and two to restore a relationship. Just something that was on my heart to share. Pray about it and see what the Lord tells you.

      2. ikr. That spirit is a killer man. Its murderous. However, I actually causually mentioned their situation it to the pastor when I entered his office because of what had overheard and was told that the lady who did the wrong had asked forgiveness of the wronged lady and was denied. At that time there was no tears or nothing. They were brought up before a counsel and the “wronger” apologized but not sure if the “wrongee” thought that she was not penitent enough or what but she did not accept the apology. Maybe she was just too hurt… I don’t know exactly. So I believe this time the love of Jesus really touched her and true penitence was unearthed but this “wrongee” still refused. The pastor said there was nothing more he could do so he prays one day she will forgive her. So Sad.

      3. Sometimes saying you’re sorry means that you make right the wrong you did, as in the case of Zacheus . He told Jesus that he would give back the money he extorted from everyone. While I do not know the wrong in this case, if it is something that can be made right, then the offending party needs to make things right,

      4. I hear you. I really don’t know what the case was myself because the pastor did not say and I did not ask so I hope that if it was something that could’ve been done in like manner it was made right.

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