Title Me

Title me if you please,

I won’t let it bother me.

Title me if you please,

I won’t dread it.

Title me if you please,

I won’t let it get under my skin.

Title me if you please,

Your opinion is like a nose; only you can use it.

Title me if you please,

I am honoured you have some time to factor me in your busy day.

Title me if you please,

Go on – maybe it’ll put you at ease.

Title me if you please,

Your words are yours to give but not mine to accept.

Title me if you please,

I give you permission to be vocal but don’t expect me to listen.

Title me if you please,

Nothing will prevent me from being me.

Title me if you please,

It’s fine with me,

Because the only words that matter,

Is what He says about me.

 

written by Amorelle Lewinson.  

copyright 2014.

 

 

He is not mad at you….

I have gotten to truly believe that Our Father God is a True Father indeed.

I have just completed seven nights of a Sleep Fast.  If you’re not familiar with a sleep Fast it is the giving up of your sleep (sacrificing sleep as you would food or something else) for a greater godly cause. So you would  pray and worship through the night hours from 12 am until mid-morning or morning.  It is a very effective weapon. This fast wasn’t my first, but this surely was my hardest.

By the Sunday night, which was the last night, I was so weary I could barely keep my eyes open. I had had a very long day that Sunday. I ministered in the morning never got home until the evening, then I went to my home church for Lord’s Supper and never returned home until late.  I was already weary and sleep depraved, so having that long day, never helped in any way.

When it got time to pray, even my husband was so knocked out from the long day that he never heard the alarm to get me up to pray. Let me pause to say on my previous sleep fasts I wouldn’t sleep at all for more than 2 hours per 24 hours for the entire seven nights because that is the time I would have left after prayer as I would have to get up and get started on my schedule for the day. However for this fast I actually took an hour or so of sleep in the nights just before the session, in addition to 3 hours I had after the prayer in the mornings.

So as I was saying, when time came for the prayer, I literally hauled my legs (that were buckling under me) to the living room.  I couldn’t make it but I kept saying “I will make it, I will make it, I can do this”.  Honestly, I wasn’t convinced. By 3am I was so tired, I couldn’t pace the floor in prayer anymore. I knew If I sat down, I would immediately fall asleep but I couldn’t help it. My feet hurt and all parts of my body ached.  I was so weak, weary, tired, fatigued, exhausted, sleepy and enervated. I felt like I was literally gonna pass out!  Finally I sat down – That was the end of  that! You can imagine what happened next. After sitting, all I knew was half hour had passed since I last remembered what I was praying but yet I couldn’t move to get up and continue praying. Then another 15 minutes…then 10 minutes…. then another 15 minutes and so it went on for about and hour and a half combined.  When I looked at the time it was a little after 5 am.  I was so disappointed in myself.  I always prayed until 6 or 7 am on the last night – ALWAYS! I felt so badly like I had let down God and He was saddened by my failure.  I began to cry! “I’m sorry God, I am so sorry. I tried my best. I really did. I just couldn’t hold up.  I am truly sorry”. I wailed to him feeling utter shame. My heart felt broken as I pondered how ashamed He must be of me. I nonetheless stayed and finished praying until after 6am then I went to bed feeling like I lost an important battle and I was now the biggest scandal on the planet.

When I woke up the Monday morning, the pain of my failure griped me instantly and I hang my head in embarrassment and disgrace.  The thoughts in my head were “I failed. Its not well start but well done and I didn’t end well therefore I am a disappointment and God is not pleased with my efforts”.  By about midday, the pain of my stench of being a let down was so overwhelming that I curled in a little corner of my bed and began to cry to God expressing again my apologies for failing Him.

To my utter and most needed surprise I heard the Lord say “Why do you keep repenting for that which I have not laid a charge to? Are you being convicted or condemned? Do I convict or condemn?”  In that moment it felt like the Lord was smiling and standing right beside my bed where I curled up hollering in a pool of tears. Immediately all the chains that imprisoned my heart fell and I stood free.  I wiped the tears from my eyes and began smiling.  He then said “I have come that you may be free. Who the Son sets free is free indeed”.  

The enemy had belied me, condemning me, causing me to feel like I was the worst person in the world because I fell asleep and could not pray until daylight.  He made me feel like God was mad at me and was disappointed in my efforts but that was all a lie.  Jesus was proud of me and was in no way ashamed of me. It gave me a level of freedom that words cannot express.  It brings tears to my eyes even as I write this post and the moments are relived in my memory.

Jesus loves you and is proud of your strides and sacrifice for him my friend. Proud of your baby steps to change. Proud of your loving heart. Proud of your kindness to others.  Proud of you – His masterpiece.  The Holy Spirit convicts in love to steer you to freedom and a godly lifestyle. The Enemy condemns in guilt to steer you to bondage, imprisonment and shame. Knowing the difference is a key to a healthy heart and mind.

So, the next time you feel like a failure because of whatever reason, think carefully and ask yourself…  Am I being convicted or condemned?

 

Be Free – Wednesday’s Medi

image by: love4humtum.blogspot.com

Don’t allow people to cause negativity and bitterness to take residence in your heart.

The mortgage/rental is not worth it.

– Amorelle Lewinson

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Get over your past…

I wanna encourage you today to let go off your past!

Get Over It!

It doesn’t matter how messed up it is, think forward!

Believe me when I tell you:

“Your future is bright!”

So every time your past comes back to haunt you just say:

A New Day

Lord I give You all of my me,

Won’t You set my spirit free.

Today is the right day,

For me to lift my hands and say,

Won’t You take it all away,

Let me see a brand new day.

I want to see the sun again.

Won’t You blow away the rain,

‘Cause it reminds me of my pain.

My heart is filled with stains,

The memory of my past seems to remain,

I want to see the sun again.

Can I just see the sun again?

~~~~

It has been such a long, long time.

I thought I would’ve lost my mind,

But You reached down for me and say,

“I’ll make you see a brand new day,

Now you are doing it My way,

So I will cause you not to stray.

I am the Son you need to see,

Relax and let your past be.

Just leave your suffering to Me.

Let me carry your dead weight,

Your shame, disgrace and all your hate.

Child believe Me when I say,

I will keep your troubles at bay,

‘Cause today is truly your brand new day”.

image by: http://www.empowernetwork.com

Written by Amorelle Lewinson.  © copyright 2013.  All rights reserved.

 

The Break-Up

image by: offthepathandontotheroad.blogspot.com

 

Dear Stress – Depression,

This is my BREAK-UP letter to you.

I had been wanting to do this for a long time but just never knew how until recently.  I found someone! I sure have…

To be honest, I have been secretly dating Joy – Peace for a while now, and have found that He is is all I ever wanted, needed and more.  He makes me happy, gives me serenity and takes me to blissful tranquility where all my troubles and fears disappear.  Smile, Wow! He overhauls me in love and wraps me in the preternatural pleasantry of mental paradise.

My health has improved, my attitude has been remodeled and I am now feeling like the woman I was created to be all these years.  Its because of this, I realised what a parasite you have been to me all these years!  Oh Man!

I have no regrets in leaving you.  I am just sorry I never did it earlier.

So here it goes: Our relationship is OVER!!!  [echo] )))))))))))))))

Ba-Bye!  Forever!

image by: allgroanup.com

 

 

post inspired by:http://codedjeannie.wordpress.com/2013/05/05/dear-stressw/

 

*Thank You*

Hello all.  Happy New Year!

Well it’s definitely a new year, filled with new dreams, hopes, possibilities, adventures, anointings, resolutions and all the potentials and possibilities that can ever exist.  Therefore I take this a pleasure to declare 3 things for you this year that any other thing I could ever wish, hope or desire for you can be summed up in:

I decree and declare over you: PEACE, PRODUCTIVITY AND PROSPERITY for this year of 2013.

Thanks for all your tender words, likes, loves, comments, encouragements, smiles, scriptures,  follows and all the kindness you have shown for my blog this year.  I look forward to serving you through my writings in this 2013 and beyond.

Jesus loves you and so do I.

God richly bless you.

Poison for Breakfast – part 1

I watched an incident some time ago that fascinated me about the wills of humans.  I was ministering in a service and the Lord began to move in the hearts of the people there.  It was really warming to my very bones to know that the love of Jesus can truly transform the hearts and minds of even the vilest of persons.  It’s powerful.  Real powerful!

Just before the service ended, a lady walked up to me filled with tears and they were streaming down her face. She said “Pastor, you know a lady in here and I are not talking.  We are in malice but I really want to put it right with her today.  I do not want us to leave this service still in malice.  Can I call her over here and you pray with us and help us to set everything straight? I smiled and said “sure”.  Both persons were already at the altar since they had responded to the invitation for prayer that I had given.

She walked over to the other lady, touched her and whispered something in her ear.  The lady shrugged her hands off her shoulder and reluctantly walked over with her towards me.  I didn’t inquire what the issue was that had caused them to be in the malice in the first place but I asked them both if they feel they were able to put behind them whatever it was and move on from there.  The first lady crying so much that she could hardly stand, responded “yes pastor”.  The other lady did not respond.  So I asked her personally, she muttered under her breath but I did not hear her reply.  I asked again. This time she gave a distressed, apathetic, indifferent “uh hmmm”.  I realized that she was lying but I had other people to minister to so I didn’t spend much time on her.  I began to pray.  I held both their hands and prayed that God’s love would bind them together, enact total forgiveness and so on.

She looked so uncomfortable. It was amazing to see such display right before my eyes. I should interject to say they were both Christians. [smile – SMH]  Anyway, the Lord opened up her heart to me and I began to discern her thoughts.  She was insistent that she would not forgive this lady no matter what she or I did or said.  I felt so sad for her.  She had allowed the root of bitterness to take a whole of her and it gripped her so tight that the pain of the incident totally took precedence over her need to forgive and be free.  She thought to herself that the lady did not deserve her forgiveness after all that she did to her.  I looked at her and said “You really need to forgive her for the wrongs she did to you.  It’s not worth it to keep killing yourself with hatred and unforgiveness”.  She half-heartedly looked at me as if to say “You can talk all you want.  You know nothing.  I am the one who is hurting”.  She held down her head then walked off.  She went back to the place she was standing at the altar while I ministered to the other persons.

When I was finished, I walked through the back rostrum entrance to go to the pastor’s office.  It so happened as I was crossing the passage I saw her talking to someone. Her remarks were: “She can go on with her long eye water and tears.  If the pastor did really know what she did to me, she would’ve NEVER asked me to forgive her.  She can fool the pastor with her “everlasting cow-bawling” [Jamaican patios for many tears].  She cannot fool me and me NOT forgiving her!”  She hissed her teeth and walked off.  She didn’t see me but I saw and heard her.

I smiled and thought what a hard hearted woman who is supposed to be a child of God.  Imagine if Jesus was to say that about us.  Look at how many times even in one day that we hurt and cause him much pain.  Our language, actions, thoughts, behavior, attitude…. A mean the list is endless.  He loves us so much that He forgives us immediately, as soon as we ask.  Why wouldn’t we even try to do the same?  I know some hurts are painful; a mean just awful.  It may even take a while but I know if forgiving is truly what you want to do then Jesus will give you the enabling power to do so. HE TRULY WILL.

I speak from personal experience that after you forgive someone, you’ll find out that he person who needed freedom wasn’t them at all but you. Oh boy, do I know that well.  Have you ever noticed that when you “don’t like a person” you never stop seeing them? Seriously, everywhere you go they are there.  Geez!  So all it does is get your blood boiling and the painful memories keep reliving like a wretched horror movie on auto play. Good Lord!  I once heard Joyce Meyer say “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping that the other person dies”.  I have realized that statement is as true as truth gets.  Just forgive.  Its hard but rewarding if you want peace of mind, stability and a stress free life. So tell me, when was the last time you had poison for breakfast, lunch or dinner?

“Walk on Water!”

Have you ever wanted to go to somewhere quite important?  You get all dolled up, all clean shaved, all properly made up, everything well put together and all you have to do is go out the door,  when suddenly out of no where, the rain begins to pour?   Living in the warm tropical paradise called Jamaica… this kind of thing is not foreign.  Its actually quite familiar especially during the hurricane season.  Its really annoying if you do not own your own vehicle and have to get a taxi.  Especially if you have to walk a distance to get it. Sigh.  Sometimes its horrible.  You will be sitting, hoping, waiting, wondering, and wishing  the rains would just go away.  Many times they just don’t.

So after a while the showers begin to subside and you begin to think “thank heavens… its finally holding up so I can now leave”.  You pick up your purse or wallet; button your shoe; slide on your pumps and from the midst of no where you hear a clap of thunder and lightning peels across the sky. You shriek:  “What? c’mon, Seriously? I can’t believe it”  Before you could say “it” the rains begin to smash the earth, pelting everywhere it hits with ferocity and untamed  power.

All you can do is sit back in your chair and relax or get aggravated and plan your next step.  Now its pouring so hard you can hardly see your neighbour’s house or even your own front yard.  Then you receive a phone call “hey, where are you?”  “At home.  Its raining cats and dogs here”  “Really, its bright and sunny here.  The function is starting and everyone is asking for you.  All the stuff you asked for is already here reserved especially for you just the way you asked. We are waiting for you, so what you gonna do?”.  “I don’t know” You sigh!  What do you do? This is terrible.   Where you are heading is bright and sunny.  Loaded with all the things you desire momentarily and looking quite hopeful with lots of potential for the future.  Beautifully Glorious!  However where you are now is disgustingly annoying, wet, sad, stormy, sulky and sullen. You now have a choice to make. Do you brave the weather and head into an even more intense, particularly unknown more uncomfortable situation to get to your intended destination or be stuck in a glum, morose, moronic situation that causes stillness, nothingness and static simply because it is known and more comfortable to you?

I think many times we choose the latter because it feels better.  We feel safe, secure but totally outside of purpose and destiny.  So instead of  being joyful we are happy.  Instead of fulfilment we have settlement.   Instead of friends we have acquaintances. Instead of peace we have confusion and obscurity. Instead of a home we have a house.   Instead of blessings we have riches. Instead of love we have lust.

Our journey in life is likewise.  Jesus loves us so much and has the greatest things for us.  However many times, our present situations are so sticky and filled with so many trials that we find ourselves having to decide whether to stay in comfort and familiarity or launch out into the deep and see if we may just, like Peter, “Walk on Water”. Quite the Conundrum!

I have found that many of us are willing to stay in our present circumstance – that which we already understand and is acquainted because it makes us feel comfortable.  We are willing to stick to what we know when seeking that which we don’t know many times holds the key to what we really should know.  Think about it.  What choice would you make?

“Warmth of Love”

Its great to know how much Jesus loves us.  Its quite comforting.  Let me explain.  I have not been well for the last couple of days, more like weeks.  (“Not well” is a gross understatement. sigh)  It’s so easy to get discouraged when things are not going well.  However through it all I realize something quite beneficial to my spiritual life. Here it goes – THE ENEMY DOES NOT WANT MY STUFF, HE WANTS MY JOY AND PEACE. (Wow, revolutionary)

Seriously, all he wants is to frustrate you to the extent where you give up on your God and your life.  He will use anything or anyone to achieve this goal.  So I was feeling down because everything was just going in disarray. Have you every had one of those times?  All directions just no light – it seems.  I slouched in my couch and felt sad.  I began to talk to my Daddy:

“Jesus, I know You love me.  I know You care for me.  I Know you do. I want your love at this moment.  Can you please come and wrap me in Your arms of love. plz! plz!”

I felt so desperate.  I had tried to be really positive through all that’s going on but this time, this last thing was truly pushing me over the edge.  As I spoke to him, heart broken and completely torn I waited patiently. He then came and I felt him invade my world with His sweet presence. The warmth of His love enveloped my being and personality.  It poured into me like nothing else can… my body rocked with the passion of His love for me.  I was brought to tears, lots of tears. I surrendered myself in His blanket of love and it was absolutely wonderful.

As the Holy Spirit began to minister to me like I have done to him so many times, I realise that this is what the enemy wants to prevent.  He wants to get us to the place where we are so frustrated and depressed that we don’t even want to talk with God or get in His presence because he does know in the presence of God our joy and peace will return then our minds will be at rest.

If our minds are at rest it makes His battle against us 100% harder.  You see when our minds are at rest the Holy Spirit can speak, lead and direct us.  Then our joy will be full.  His duty is to take our stuff (steal) which includes our joy, peace, sanity, sleep and anything else; kill and destroy us.  He will use anything that we hold valuable to achieve his purpose.  We then, must be firm and flat-footed and confident in our Father’s love.  He will come and rescue us or just give us the extra umph we need to make it to the next round of battle.  His report says “WE WIN”.   Never forget that!

So maybe your world is upside down at the moment, do not despair remember Jesus Christ is near and he cares.  Ask Him to come, He will.  His love compels Him to come.  He may not take you out of your situation but I can assure you with every fibre of my being that He will come in one way, form or another to help, encourage and strengthen you along this journey we are in called life.